passport renewal

Well, today I took a couple of steps closer en route to Mexico. One I expected to be difficult, the other easy. Turns out I got them backward.

The 'difficult' one was to renew my passport. It's a chore I dislike, not the least because of having to get the infamous passport photo, an exercise for me on par with having root canal work. Maybe worse, as a dentist visit really doesn't bother me that much, but sitting in front of a bored Black's Photoshop clerk, whose job s/he thinks is to get me in and out as quickly as possible, but whose occupation I think is to create a photo that I don't mind looking at from time to time as I pass it in front of airport security people...now that's torture.

I take an awful picture. One of the reasons I married Rob is that we both take awful pictures, and thus have the same attitude towards taking them. When we go on vacation, we (well, he) take lots of pictures of all kinds of things. Neither of us, however, is in any of them. It was only with the strong pressure of my best friend and Rob's mother that we even had a photographer at our wedding...and those pictures, created by someone who knew his job was to make us look good, or at least make the pictures acceptable, now sit in the back of some drawer, and not in an album. I find Rob perfectly attractive, and I hope he thinks I'm ok, too, but something happens when a lens gets between us and someone clicking a picture. Presumably, when they line up the shot, they think there's something in the viewfinder that's going to be worth recording, but the result is always disappointing.

Anyway, off I went to get the photo taken. The Simpsons-prototype teenager taking the photo didn't help when he told me I couldn't smile. Now I thought they'd loosened up on making passport photos look like mugshots, and in my case I need all the help I can get, but I didn't argue, as I should have, and looked suitably sober and not the least terrorist-y into the camera. Twenty minutes later the kid slid me the photos, in the envelope, across the counter as though we were in a spy movie. Taking his cue, I took them and waited until I got outside before opening the envelope for a surreptitious look.

Sigh. Oh, well. It's not much worse than the last one, I suppose. Only older.

The second reason why I thought getting the passport renewal would be a problem was because of the change of law in the U.S. which requires Canadians to show a passport before entering the States. (Or Americans from doing the same before returning from a trip to Canada, too.) Now Canada and the U.S. have had a deal forever that crossing 'the longest undefended border in the world' by citizens of either nation has only ever required some form of photo ID, and even then it has seldom been asked for. I know times have changed and America has some legitimate worry about foreigners, but Canadians have always had this special relationship, especially those of us who live close to the border. People living on either side have thought nothing for years of crossing the border for dinner, or drinks, or shopping (depending on whose dollar gives the best deal at whichever given time.)

Now, with this new rule, literally millions of Canadians have been scrambling to the passport office to get them the ticket to Buffalo wings or Disneyland. The media has been reporting the long lineups at the passport office, and the huge wait times to get new passports through the mail. I dreaded the whole ritual of getting the guarantor's signature (the list of acceptable guarantors in Canada is bizarre to say the least: doctors, judges, I understand, but postmasters?), filling out the forms, and sending off important identification through Canada Post to some overworked passport employee in Ottawa, and waiting...months, according to the reports....to get my new passport, with its glossy new picture inside.

So I decided to go in person to the passport office, and wait in line, getting much of the paperwork done in one nasty go, and keeping my other identification. I'd still have to wait forever for the passport, I reasoned, but if I faced the fact that I'd have to sit and wait for my number for two hours, took a book along with me, and just gritted my teeth through it, I'd be done.

Imagine my surprise. Yes, there were twenty people ahead of me (only 20! I've been there when there's been a hundred, most of whom needed help filling out the forms), but the best thing is that finally, unbelievably, the Canadian government has recognized that perhaps people currently holding a valid passport don't necessarily need to go through the whole routine again and start at Step One as though they were totally unknown to the Passport Office. As of today, TODAY in fact, a new form has been introduced for people renewing passports, that is actually rather painless. A few facts, a couple of contact names, hand over the old passport, and...wait for it.... the new one will come by registered mail in two weeks.

That was it. In and out in 25 minutes. I even got my deposit money on parking back because I was there less than 1/2 hour. I felt almost euphoric.

Until I remembered the picture.

Oh well. I was off to the easier job on my list. Or so I thought...